Pain into Purpose

A story of one of the thousands of processes I got to witness- in HER words.

April 9, when I was 18, I suffered a loss that left me so severely dissociated I was unable to understand language. By the grace of this trauma I came to medicine and this work some 20 years ago, long before it was cool. You can find my story here.

Over the years, I have witnessed and held space in varying capacities to thousands of processes of people ages 9 to 102. In the community I lead many such stories are shared. This is my first go at sharing here one of them.
Alora (her name was changed to protect her identity) is a remarkable young woman whose astonishing story of liberation is one I thought most fitting to start with, especially on the eve of Passover. May all beings be free.

In her words

My name is Alora. I grew up in Brazil and the first 16 years of my life were riddled with trauma.

I have lived through repeated sexual abuse by relatives, I was held at a gun point by an ex boyfriend, was abused by my parents, given up for adoption, was forcibly separated from my my only loving relative, was bullied.. things got so bad that I tried to take my own life.

At 16, in a bid to save my own life, I crossed the border to the US seeking asylum with one of my molesters. We got caught. I was taken to the Icebox and then transferred to a juvenile detention center where I spent over 4 months and where no one spoke Portuguese, leaving me in complete isolation.

A few years ago, I began my healing journey when I landed at a babysitter job with employers who took me in as a family. I started catching up on my education getting high school diploma, began therapy and had a job I loved. But the trauma was always there and my body kept the score.

I began my process with assisted Ketamine therapy. It was the first time I tried psychedelics. The ketamine helped me to disassociate myself from my traumas and I was able to speak with my birth mother for the first time in many years, but after 5 sessions the last ketamine treatment actually threw me into a dark place and I wasn’t ready to unpack my traumas. I had to go back on anti psychotic meds.

That is when my soul mama who is a psychiatrist and a psychedelics practitioner herself introduced me to Osher.

I began microdosing 42, then I attended JoyFest at the end of September 2023 which was a mEcro experience, and three months later, I had a 1:1 with Osher.

That day, I experienced a rebirth, and since then, my life has undergone numerous changes. The ceremony was a pivotal reason for this transformation. My life has changed so much that it's hard to describe. There are moments of uncertainty, but I always remind myself of the importance of being present. I'm achieving many goals, and the best part is knowing that this is part of my journey, and I choose this transformation. I am fortunate to have the support of my chosen family.

Since my 42 1:1 ceremony, so much has happened. I can’t believe it’s been 15 months since my rebirth. In these 15 months, I have experienced such a transformation and have slowly made all my dreams come true.

So, first things first, I was able to finish my undergrad and start grad school at an Ivy League school, majoring in Social Work.

Second, I got a fresh start with the support of my bonus family, whose last name I legally took as my own. I’ve always struggled to let my guard down, but slowly, they made their way into my life, and I surprised them by taking their last name (that wasn’t so slow 🫣). I had the support of some great people, some of whom are part of this amazing community.

Last but not least, last month, I was nominated by the National Association of Social Workers (NASW), NY State and NYC Council, as Student of the Year. Ten years ago, I never dared to dream of getting a high school diploma.

This year I present at two conferences related to advocacy for refugee children. For the 42nd annual conference for BPD in Las Vegas I was presenter number 42, which seems very synchronous given the effect 42 had on my life.

I’m becoming the change I want to see in this world. But that doesn’t mean it has only been butterflies and happy moments. Working on myself is more difficult than any of my awards or achievements. It is a tough path, as we are not always ready to understand things like “we can’t change our past”, but we gain so much wisdom through our experiences and we can't take it for granted. We need to have compassion and empathy for ourselves (I’m still working on it).

42’s integration support therapist has helped me so much through this journey, and slowly, I’m working on myself.

Life extends far beyond what we dare to dream. I look forward to a life of service. I know my pain was not in vain.

Thank you for reading. Please feel free to ask Osher for my contact details if you wish to connect directly.

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